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Monday, January 10, 2011

Hopes and Fears of the New Year




Two bluebirds perched on a brown branch.
Barely visible from the fog, they twitched and twittered and puffed-up their plumage, while winter's barrenness brought forth their brightness. Childlike wonder and delight flew open the door of my muddled mind. Then the fog lifted, and they were gone. Out of sight and hidden in the light.

I felt a pang of emptiness with their going. I wanted to follow. To capture their vibrant colors and feel their winged spirit. But I knew they had flown to their hidden home. A secret place.

The scene caused me to sit in silent reflection. The years past, present, and future loomed with fear and with hope. Simultaneous conflicting emotions.

Could both the barrenness and the beauty bring forth flight? 
The answers seemed elusive. Frozen in conflict.

Their secret home was one to which I could relate. But their's was a nest of natural beauty, simplicity, and song; they flew with swift confidence, and sang their joyous little songs to themselves. Mine was often a cottage that shifted too easily from freedom focus to fear and forebodings.


What was their secret? 
"This is the joy of all winged life above--happy it is to be able to love." from Hinds' Feet on High Places. "Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love...the little flowers have a lesson to teach. They offer themselves so sweetly and confidently and willingly, even if there is no one to appreciate them, as if they have a song they sing to themselves--that it is so happy to love even though one is not loved in return."
How do they soar and sing and rise above to the elusive blue mountaintop?
"Humble yourself, and you will find that Love is spreading a carpet of flowers beneath your feet...for it is only on the High Places of Love that anyone can receive the power to pour themselves down in an utter abandonment of self-giving."
How does the barren brownness bring forth the blueness? 
"The valleys looked very green and peaceful, while the mountains to whose foot they had come towered above them like gigantic and threatening ramparts...The choice...Fear she knew all too well, but Sorrow and Suffering....how could she go with them and abandon herself to their power and control?"
Trust is too hard. 
"We must leap down into the canyon...Supposing she had thrown them away, discarded  her trust in His promises, had gone back on the surrenders to His will? There could have been no jewels now to His praise and glory, and no crown for her to wear."
Flee into the foggy darkness and rise with the Living Light. 
"I will write upon her a new name, the name of her God. The Lord God is a sun and a shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly." Pslam 84:11
"His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me,"  from Matthew 10:29.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Cut to the Chase


Do I really put God first? 

How do I cut God out of my world? 

Do I make room for Him all through my day? 
Or do I try to squeeze Him in between my busyness?

Does technology get in the way of connecting with God and people, including my family? 

These are questions I considered this morning after studying the book of the prophet Isaiah. He was the real deal. He didn't sugarcoat. His words were plain and simple. Cut to the chase. Totally upfront and totally encouraging at the same time. Take some time to read about what God says through Isaiah (especially chapter 9:2-7) this Christmas. 

So here is the real me. No shower. No makeup. Up close and personal. Gasp!

Still in my bathrobe at almost noon. No bonbons were in sight, but they sure were in mind! Just used my little remote on manual with window light for this photo that is a part of the self-portrait challenge over at http://www.iheartfaces.com.  Click on the button below to see some amazing shots that won't make you gasp like mine did! :)








Saturday, December 4, 2010

How Not To Survive the Holidays-Through Gritted Teeth

"Paola was mother to eight boys and one girl. That fact alone would seem to excuse her from performing any other duties. But no. To get to Antigua, Guatemala (to serve as a housekeeper all day), she rode a chicken bus twenty miles from Chimaltenango, where her family slept in hammocks over a dirt floor that turned to mud during the six-month rainy season. Her day started before dawn, when she walked to and from the mill where she bought the corn meal required to make the one hundred and fifty tortillas her family ate every day, which she made herself, by hand. How dare I complain about anything? Paola had finished a full day's work before I'd finished my first cup of coffee."


When I read this for the first time, it hit me right smack dab between the eyes! I instantly realized that my busiest, most worrisome day could never compare to what this woman faced on a daily basis! With gritted teeth, I immediately vowed to keep this woman's plight in mind and to NEVER utter a single word about my minimal workload. 


How long do you think that lasted? 


I couldn't even make it a week before my measly Martha-mentality returned. With muttering breath and slamming drawers to boot, I quickly blew my "Paola" cover. I will spare you the gory details, but it might be appropriate to say that I almost became the Grinch that stole Thanksgiving. 


Of course, I could tell you about the unusual tiresome week that led up to the semi-explosion (whine...oops! I guess I just did), but that would only be an excuse. There is no excuse. It is simply a barrel of bad habits that erupt when the going gets tough. Neither outright temper tantrums nor inward passive aggressiveness exhibit the practice of leaning on the wisdom and joy of the Lord.


Hunger and weariness probably plague Paola, yet she seemingly takes it all in stride. She moves automatically, without complaint, according to Jessica O'Dwyer, author of the book Mamalita, an adoption memoir, from which I have shared the above excerpt. In Philippians 2:14, our Lord implores me to "do everything without grumbling or complaining." This small-statured woman, Paola, towers over my small-mindedness, by following this command with strength and endurance. I wonder if a discussion on considering the differences in cultural expectations is in order? Could it make my behaviors seem more understandable? No, nada. What I need reaches across cultures. 


When will I ever realize that it is on bended knee that I need to make my vows? Gritted teeth will get me nowhere. Strengthening of spirit is given through the uplifting of prayers to the One who is the Wellspring of Life. Why do I forget to fill my cup first with Him, before He can pour anything useful into the lives of others through me?


As it has done for me, I hope that hearing about Paola will remind you of your blessings and encourage you to rely on our Lord more heavily this holiday season. May your Christmas overflow with His strength and joy!


Here are some other helpful sites about the holidays:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/
http://homeschoolingmomtographer.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-can-we-honor-christ-as-we-prepare.html
http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/category/spiritual_disciplines/
http://www.crosswalk.com/spirituallife/women/11641930/
http://christian.families.com/blog/putting-christ-back-in-christmas
http://www.parenting.com/new/blogs/mom-congress/simple-ways-volunteer-your-family-holiday-season
http://sunflowerfaith.com/2010/12/01/tis-not-the-season-to-complain-word-filled-wednesday/
http://etools.781net.com/a/vomso/bg_vomso_wdbm_434.html